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Old Year Gone; New Year Come

1/2/2023

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As this year draws to a close, I find myself reflecting a lot about how much I have changed since the start of 2022. When last year kicked off, I was struggling to accept that I wouldn’t be returning to teaching (and trying to find work), I weighed roughly 70 lbs more than I do now, and, despite signing my contract prior to this, my book seemed like it might never fully come to be. I am now looking at roughly 80 copies sold in Canada, the USA, and the UK. I am feeling both humbled and grateful for the changes that have taken place in my life. I am also very grateful to everyone who has purchased a copy of my book and it is my sincere hope that I will be able to publish the second of the Small Town Slashers Series if all continues to go well.
          With that said. I am also in a place where I can see that I still have a long way to go. Although I have got myself on medication for my mental wellness, I have yet to find a therapist I feel comfortable working with since the first one my medical coverage supplied (back when I was still teaching) ran out. I also still struggle to establish any sort of consistent routines beyond those dictated by my work schedule. Finally, I wish to be more consistent with my writing, as it is my goal to both maintain this blog and complete the writing of books 3 and 4 of my series this year. To do so, I am planning to write 2500-5000 words weekly, as well as maintain this blog bi-weekly. I also plan to put back into place a proper sleep routine so that I can better structure my days around my work schedule and thus make better use of my time off. I am also going to try to seek a new counselor and a new doctor (one closer to where I live) this year so I can keep improving my mental health and avoid the slips back into depression that plagued me this past autumn.
          Although this is quite a bit to commit myself to, I cannot help but smile when I stare at these challenges that I am setting for myself in 2023. Though the skeptical voice in my head has its doubts, I am truly inspired by how much I have grown in 2022, when those doubts seemed so much more like truths to me. Although I am nervous about what the future will bring, I am not afraid to do what I need to so that I can make my goals become a reality. I know this blog seems short, and I hope it doesn’t feel like I am posting this to brag. My true goal is to share with you that dreams can come true if you commit yourself to them. I have my goals for the year, and I have my plan set for achieving them. What are yours?
          I wish to leave you with a poem I wrote a long time ago. I have been thinking a lot lately about time and about how I wish to make the best use of whatever time I may have left in this world. That’s why I felt this would be a good share to end my post with. I hope you enjoy it.
 
Time
She stares out across
The sparkling water
And some how she knows

She can sense the first chill
And knows winter approaches
Bringing on the fierce cold
 
The air is moist
Soon snow will cover the Earth
Like a blanket of death
 
The rose next to her
Has begun to wilt
And soon all that’s green will be gone
 
She stares at the sunset and knows
It is setting on her life
And she sheds a single tear.
By: Jeremy Gernhaelder

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My First Book Tour

1/2/2023

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This is an overdo blog post, as I didn’t get a chance to write it up before the holidays. After returning from my hometown, I needed to work 9 out of 13 days. I also hurt my back rescuing our new feathered baby (his name is Kahlo, and I will mention more about him in my next post). I started to write this over my time off but was unable to finish it before today. As such, I will be submitting a double post as an after holiday treat for my readers. This first post, as indicated by the title, will begin after this short introduction with what I had written earlier, and will focus on my first book tour. After this, I intend to post a year end/New Year blog expressing my gratitude to my little community and update you on my life since the tour. I hope you will enjoy both and that you all had wonderful holidays with your families.
 
          I scarcely know where to begin when it comes to my first ever book tour. I am actually trembling with excitement as I try to type this out, recalling all of the amazing experiences I had over my short return to my hometown. Although the primary goal of my return was to spend time with family, especially my parents, whom I had not seen in 2 years, I was also able to organize a few events to promote my work as well. Of course, you likely know all about this from my previous post, so I won’t bore you with a recounting of my agenda. Although, it is important to note that the trip did start with a bit of a downpour. Specifically, a downpouring of freezing rain. This sadly, closed most of the local businesses and all of the local services down on my first day home. Thankfully, an amazing former teacher named Mrs. Sandra Stewart (who also does a lot of work in the library) was able to quickly replan my visit to the high school for the following day. As she is retiring this year, it was really great to get to see her one last time in the scholastic community and I truly wish to thank her here for all of her work to bring me to CSS.
          As for the visit itself, returning to my old high school was truly an honour. I can distinctly recall that a variety of guests visited during my years in school, my favourite of which being David Suzuki, that inspired me to become who I am today. Being given the opportunity to do this for the next generation of students attending Cayuga Secondary School was a dream that I never thought I would realize. With that said, I cannot deny being nervous beyond belief and stumbling a bit throughout my presentation. Despite this, I found that the students were really interested and had a lot of questions to ask. I did my best to field these, and even gave out a signed copy of my book to a lucky student. I even found the inspiration I needed to resolve the conflict I was having with my third book while talking addressing the questions of a particularly bright young student with brilliant green hair. Although signing books was certainly fun the following day, I do believe that this school visit was my favourite part of my Book Tour.
          The day of my book signing was equally nerve-wracking, but for an entirely different reason. While I was worried the previous day about failing to reach the students or making a fool of myself, my concerns regarding the signing were all focused around the turn-out. Being an independent author means that you need to invest a lot of your own time and money into yourself, which means that you really have to believe in yourself to succeed. This is most definitely not my strength and I feel that I put far too much pressure on myself. Standing at a table filled with my books, I was reminded of my days in sales, which are not pleasant memories. Thankfully, my doom and gloom did not remain though and, while I did not sell many books, it was a really great experience. I got to reconnect with another former teacher, my aunt encouraged a couple of people to come out, and my partner even managed to potentially talk a local business into selling my books. Breaking the ice on my first, in-person, signing event helped me to gain some self-confidence that I have been sorely lacking since late September, when my online sales started to dry up. I even managed to sell a few more signed copies on my road trip back to Quebec.
          To end this post, I wish to express my thanks to several people who helped make this happen. I wish to thank my Aunt Kim for purchasing many copies of my book and donating them to both the high school and local libraries last summer. Your efforts are the foundation upon which this Book Tour was made possible, and I am grateful for your support. I wish to thank the students and staff of Cayuga Secondary School for inviting me to speak to them about my experiences as a self-published author. I wish to thank Katrina Krupicz and the staff of the Cayuga Public Library for publicizing and setting up space for my signing. I wish to thank the Haldimand Press for the beautiful article about my Book Tour that they wrote up in advance of my arrival (a photo of it is included here). I wish to thank my partner, Anick, for putting up with my insanity and pushing me into doing this whenever I dragged my feet. Finally, I wish to express my heartfelt gratitude to my Aunt Jayne, who not only invited us into her home for the duration of my trip, but who has also provided us with meals and gas money. On top of this, she has given me so much support and encouragement throughout my efforts to become a recognized author, and especially on this trip, that I cannot fathom giving up on myself again (and I am certain that she would not let me). This trip would not have been financially and spiritually possible without all of these people, and I cannot say enough how much this has meant to me.
         
          I wish to leave you now with a collection of pictures from my trip, as well as a couple of poems that I composed while I was there. I do hope that you have enjoyed reading about my Book Tour and I look forward to organizing another in the spring (hopefully). All the best to you and thanks for reading my post 😊.
 
Home ~ A Haiku
Cayuga Raised,
My Heart rests with Haldimand,
Forever my Home.
By: Jeremy Gernhaelder
 
Being an Aunt                                                       
A steady foundation, offering a place to stay,            
A moral compass, to ensure we don’t stray.             
A dependable bridge, between parent and friend,      
An unbreakable guardian, always ready to defend.   
A comforting ear, without judgement or hate,
A smiling face, with kind words you elate.
A beautiful spirit, watching over us like a dove,
And a warm embrace, full of priceless love.
By: Jeremy Gernhaelder

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    Darker Thoughts from a Small Town Mind

    Regular blog posts from the author of the Small Town Slashers Series on everything from the writing process for my next books to the daily struggle of living with depression and social anxiety.

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